Morning :]

So tomorrow will be the last day of being a fatty :]

It's my last exam tomorrow, which I am absolutely terrified about. I'm convinced I've failed all the exams I've sat so far. I'll find out in July! But if I pass the year, I am absolutely determined to be perfect in my second year. Perfect grades, perfect weight, perfect clothes, perfect everything.

Hey, I might even win the lottery....

SO I'm going to spend all day today cramming for tomorrow's exam. I also get to pick up the results of a piece of coursework I did three weeks ago. Lets hope I did well!!

And, on Thursday, I have a photo shoot with a clothing company. It's going to be the first day of my cleanse, which is MEGA exciting. I'm also kinda nervous. But I'm going to look like a complete fatty ):

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday I'm working for most of the day. I work in a convenience store, so I'm always around food. It'll be a challenge, but I definitely think I can do it. I'll just bring a packed lunch to work, instead of wasting money on their pastries, which are turning me into a whale.

I'm also working the last 3 days of the 10 day cleanse. The thing I am most worried about is having the energy to work efficiently. I'll have to get the energy from somewhere!!

7 - 10 day cleanse

I'm going to add a cleanse to the beginning of my 40 day plan, so that I can lose loads of weight in the process, and it'll be easier for me to lose weight during the 40 day plan :]


So, I will be consuming only juices. Mainly consisting of one or a combination of the following:

• Carrot
• Celery
• Beet
• Spinach
• Apple
• Coconut
• Ginger

I'm also going to allow myself a vegetable broth for when I get reeeallyyyy hungry :] the recipe is as follows:

2 litres of water
2 large potatoes (peeled)
1 onion
3 carrots
4 garlic cloves

Chop all the vegetables and add to water. Cover and simmer for 30 minutes, then drain the vegetables. I like to add a little cayenne pepper but this is optional.

This is exactly why I'm doing the cleanse (it is recommended that the fast is done for 3-7 days, however, I may do it for 10 depending on how I'm feeling :])

• You will feel fresher and more energetic, with a renewed sense of mental and physical vitality.
• A cleaner liver metabolizes food faster, and sets up your body to lose weight in the long term!
• It is a short, relatively simple and inexpensive diet.
• Cleansing can help with alcohol, drug and nicotine addiction, by accelerating the detoxification process and shortening the length of withdrawal symptoms.
• Cleansing is a great way to break bad eating habits and start all over again with a clean and natural diet.

1.2.3.4EVER

So this is kind of a 40 day plan for the rest of my life, I guess. It's only a rough idea, and a more detailed food plan will follow.

I'm going to start this when my exams finish on the 15th June. So from the 16th, (conveniently pay-day), it's all systems are go :]

I plan to lose about 5 lbs per 10 days (on average... I'm hoping the weightloss will speed up as I go along. Lets hope the 5lbs remains a minimum, and I can lose even moreeeee)

Day 1-10:
1000 Cals per day
100 crunches per day
20 mins cardio per day

Day 11-20:
750 Calories per day
200 crunches per day
30 mins cardio per day

Day 21-30:
500 Cals per day
250 crunches per day
50 mins cardio per day

Day 31-Forever
500 Cals per day
300 crunches per day
2 hours cardio per day

Every tueseday, I will do a zumba class. I'll also look up other fitness classes in my area, and get a gym membership. I will not let myself go back to university if I am ANYTHING above 117 lbs, and I mean that.

I'm going to be doing sooo many hours at work, so I'll be earning quite a bit, whilst being on my feet all day, so definitely not complaining there! As each pay day comes, I hope to be buying clothes one size down at a time :]

I also plan to be more organised with my money. I'll have an account for my wages, an account for my student loan, and an account for my grant. I'll also have a 'savings' account, where I put money aside that I haven't spent from my allocated budget. That way, I'm less likely to go mad and spend a fuck load of money for no reason, because all I will see on my bank balance is what I allow myself to see :]

As well as reading ED books cover to cover (I have about 11 of them at the moment), I'm going to pre-study for my second year at university. That way I will be one step ahead, and everything will be great. I'll have the perfect body, the perfect grades, perfect everything. I'll be perfectly organised, and perfectly groomed. Not a hair out of place on my tiny frame. Make up perfect, perfectly shaven, hair perfectly styled, wearing my clothes in the most perfect way. Life will mean Love once more.

Dissappeared off the face of the web...

I've pretty much deserted this blog, for like 3 months?

Biggest. Mistake. Ever.

... And the super energy detox? LOAD OF BOLLOCKS. I gained 4 lbs. TOTALLY NOT WORTH IT!!

So I'm gonna shake things up a little. I have one exam left to study for. It's gonna be on the 15th of June. After that? I'm all yours! I'm gonna literally STUDY weightloss! Create my own plans (I've got a draft one written up ready, I'll post it in a sec) and I'm gonna get perfect. That's the idea anyways.

Clearing out everything from my bedrooms. I'm gonna start a fresh. I don't give a fuck who people want me to be anymore, I'm gonna let what's inside pour out from in between the cracks of the foundations so many people have dumped on me. Did they hold me up? No. They held me down, and it's time for me to break free.

Soooo, I got myself a Filofax :] (well, 2, a pink pocket one, and a purple personal one) so that I can stay super organised. I've got brand new scales, and some new clothes. Not that I deserved the clothes in the slightest, but I was beginning to look like a tramp.

And, here is some long awaited thinspo :]

Super Energy Detox (21 Day Plan)

I got a book today, about a detox which is supposed to help you lose weight, and feel amazing.
It's funny because in the 'not suitable for' section, it says not to do the detox if suffering from an eating disorder.

Thing is, I could't give a fuck, if I decide I like the plan, I'm gonna do it... And you're all welcome to join!

Love y'all x

I feel like a monster

A great big fat monster, and I hate it.

• I hate my stomach
• I hate my thighs
• I hate my calves
• I hate my arms
• I hate my fat neck + chin

I just wish I could go back to who I used to be. It seems as though it was never me.

I. Am. Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, FAT, FAT, FUCKING FAT

ARRGHHH

rant over :]

Maybe One Day...